#not sure if i'm going to give myself any simming goals for 2023

[episims]

O-kay, let's see.

I posted more Foxfire but yeah, the year was busy af and I only got one round completed. Better than nothing, though! And I'm getting pretty excited about gen 2 antics, which eases the pain of letting go of gen 1... some

Oof the bookmarks sure didn't happen. I even have the links saved somewhere. Really should do that at some point

I did some posing! Still not my favorite thing but I feel I'm starting to get along with it

I finished hella a lot of mods I had plans for!

Milkshape, yep, I count this one completed. I can do minor mesh edits and such, that's enough for me

I absolutely didn't get the Maxis objects categorized *hides under the desk*

2022 Simming Goals

It's a tradition at this point, so~

Post more Foxfire! This will only get harder as the gen 1 is slowly but surely moving away from the spotlight, and I'm very hesitant to let them go (and also because this year won't be any less busy than the last one was)

Add bookmark links for Foxfire rounds, preferably with some nice, pictured buttons

Maybe try to do something decent with posing. Or not so decent

Finish even some of the mods I've started to make or I have solid plans for

Continue getting used to Milkshape

Get those damn Maxis objects recategorized. Seriously.

[justlittledragonthings]

Trigger/content warnings for: abuse

Tarot Journal for June 16, 2023 The Star Tarot Card Spread: A Tarot Spread for Hope and Healing

1 - Wound: The Sun. "You might have just stumbled upon a big discovery or revelation that's astonishing, amazing and helps you see things in a new and beautiful way. This new perspective is the result of your hard inner and outer work, and now it's time for the reward."

I think I knew?? The word "abusive" came into my mind from time to time, but always accompanied by "you're overreacting" or "but it's not always like this" or "really it's not so bad" or "well I did fuck up so..." and gaslighting myself into forgetting. My therapist helped me name it a few weeks ago and it's become the bell I can't un-ring - now that I know the word is real and someone outside myself sees it. It gives structure to my thoughts around the future and past.

2 - Guidance: Four of Swords (inverted). "...you have forgotten to take care of yourself. You are worn out, so take a break. Relax, close your eyes, meditate. Take a nap. Do what you need to in order to recharge."

Yeah that's fair ... I think the challenge here is figuring out what's actually self-care and what's not truly serving me. Like - making sure I'm checking in on myself "okay am I playing the sims for several hours after work every night because it's fun or because I don't want to feel things?"

3 - Grounding: Death (inverted). "Death is the moment of letting go. Maybe there's a memory that haunts you, or a thing you desperately want to believe about yourself and will into existence."

So, I'm not really a journal person? I forget and only use it once, or I get bored, or it becomes a 'vent' journal and I'm so worried about it being found that I stop using it. That being said, I also have a tendency to gaslight myself and forget the bad shit (is it a coping mechanism or some fun ADHD short-term memory effects? who fucking knows 🙃?) and so I found some password-locked note apps and am throwing things in there as they come up. Even 2 weeks in, I'm finding that reading back some of these entries I've already forgotten the incident - I think that's really valuable and may help keep me focused on the reality of this situation, not the wishful thinking.

4 - Inspiration: Knight of Wands. "This Knight is all action and doesn't spare any time to stop and think. They pursue their goals singularly and recklessly; their unstoppable passion is inspiring but comes with risks."

Seems legit. I think taking action, taking baby steps is really empowering and creates momentum. But I also want to be careful and be patient and thoughtful while I process things, and make sure I'm comfortable with a decision before I make it.

5 - Blessing: Five of Cups. "It's okay to feel defeated and mourn. Sadness is part of the process."

Why this is a blessing: I'm okay with feeling uncomfortable things. That's w i l d. I'm (at least right now) taking things in, not just wash over me as "part of the scenery" or something. This isn't normal, this isn't okay, and I'm not okay with what's happening - recognizing that is HUGE for me.

6 - Wish: Ace of Cups (inverted). "...your cup is so full it spills out into a pool below. You'll feel yourself filled with radiant positivity, happiness and joy."

Spread: https://labyrinthos.co/blogs/learn-tarot-with-labyrinthos-academy/the-star-tarot-card-spread

Deck: Modern Witch by Lisa Sterle. Italicized quotes are from the accompanying book.

A note about inverted cards - I am for the most part using the upright interpretations as I build comfort and familiarity with reading tarot.

I am not looking for advice about abusive situations. I know my situation and the context surrounding it. This journal is focused on using the medium (pun not intended) of tarot to think through things for myself.